Thursday, 5 February 2009
No more a Wedding
I knew a woman once. Her name was Kirsty and there was a time she was known as Thirsty Kirsty for she loved a drop of the hard stuff. Now it seems that Love is a great regulator, for dear Kirsty, fell in love as some will. She could not bear to let her dearly beloved know that she liked a drink of something strong for he might think the worst of her.
So she let go of the alcohol and took to tea - as some will. She disliked it intensely at first, but every time she saw her dearly beloved, she forced the stuff down. Love, I am afraid to say makes strange people do strange things. Kirsty was a petite, charming young woman with hair as dark as molasses and eyes green as a cat's. She had a smile like a summer morning, which was what had attracted Hamish McTavish of the Edinburgh McTavishes a fine old family. She had fallen for his kindness and his talk, for he loved to talk of many things and did it with wit and charm.
After some time however, Kirsty's tea drinking led to other things. She began going to bed early and rising early to go running. She began to take to healthy and indeed clean living. No more was she inspired to paint the town crimson with a dash of scarlet. No more did she take to rising at noon to write her articles for The Woman's Friend, a magazine of some distinction, before emailing them and preparing for an evening's carousing.
Instead she would return home after her early morning run for a breakfast of muesli before writing her articles and emailing them before noon. The afternoon was spent exercising and doing good works. I admit it, I shuddered to hear of it.
Then, with boldness and dash, despite her tea-drinking, she proposed to Hamish. She had bought the wedding dress and the ring for she felt certain he would sweep her into his arms. That he would admit that she was the prize of a lifetime and he would be forever grateful for her love. But what with her healthy living and such, she had become a pale imitation of the woman he had fallen for. So he turned her down and went off with a showgirl from the musical theatre.
Devastated, Kirsty took to drink. She cleared her cupboards of tea and muesli and returned quickly to her previous ways. To her surprise, she fell in love with a showgirl herself and the two of them took to hosting an old-fashioned salon that quickly became famous. For her darling she cut her drinking, but still remained the life and soul of the salon and a charming hostess. The salon soon became famous as did Kirsty and her love.
McTavish and his showgirl soon fell into marriage and suburbia. Children and accountancy took McTavish and I am sorry to say that the pair soon became respectable citizens and indeed pillars of the community. That kind of wanton tea-drinking will do that to you if you're not careful.